Anecdotes from the life of artists

[Marjana]

We Tetyana Yablonska studied Pavel Antonovich Skorubsky. Once, Tetyana entered the studio, where students worked, and saw that the student Skorubsky zealous in pencil, on which his image loses contrast and becomes a "gray". Wanting to stop the student, the teacher exclaimed:
- Skorubsky not serite not serite!
: shy:

[kozhinart]

As a semi-watching at the Academy of Ilya Glazunov quite oserchal for teachers of academic drawing and plastic anatomii.Stoit terrible noise: Rector swears carries first students, then teachers, and prah.Vopros down to the teachers, "Why all the crumpled form of a skull? "The teacher, after a pause -" So all the casts pobilis, and students make rubbings. "Ilya loudly," All the teachers and students to shoot at the skull ".: eek:: eek:

[Art_Lyss]

Marjana,
kozhinart,
They come two drunken "Maitre" with the artistic council in the backseat of a taxi and discuss:
-Well Nikolaev?
- Zarrezzali, bastards ... (not allowed on rds)
A as the Red?
Him, a dog, hung ... (hang a picture)
Taxi driver, on the brakes: the police, keep the bandits!

[kozhinart]

..... Two teachers - Shan'ko Mikhail and Shtyhno Oleg Fedorovich - consider drawing student ...
--- Tim - (the name of student) - This is Mikhail says --
--- I look at your picture and do not understand - it is like cotton and simultaneously rude ....
--- Misha - so can not be - odovremenno rough and cotton - Responsible Oleg Fedorovich ...
--- Maybe, Oleg - this is the male affection .....

[v_r]

Now re-read the memories of his father.
There, he describes a lot of funny cases.
 
... After the 1 st and 2 nd courses summer internships held under Kanev, quite close to the place of burial of Taras Shevchenko. The Institute had the base - a large hut, where we slept and where was the dining room. To lead a summer practice set our professor Erzhikovskogo. By the time he was already so tired of us that we have established a duty, and when once our guard saw that our hut rises professor, he let us know and we jumped on the other side of the doors and windows. The time when the professor came in the hut there was no one. We're a playground of the bushes watching when he leaves. Prof. our stand up, look back around, sigh and go away. Then we arrived. But anyhow, it was necessary to make educational setting and, willy-nilly, but definitely away from contact with the professor could not. Very dopekal us so-called long-term picture landscape. No one explained to us how to do it, but be honest, I still do not know, and we tried hard to avoid it. True, there was among us such a nice guy Pasha Skorubsky, which we set an example. Morning Berman drove us to the charge, but this time Pasha with a big folder sedately walked past us and nobody dared to slow down - Pasha is a long picture. This continued up until one day, walking after our charging through the woods, Berman became interested in some strange roar. He stopped, then quietly walked. In the bushes resting folder under his head, snoring Pasha Skorubsky - dosmatrivaya his morning sleep ...

[color="# 666686"]Added after 14 minutes[/color]
... I remember how we greeted the New Year. Naturally, the signature. Long a Kohl Popov (now professor at the Kiev Academy of Fine Arts - Nicholas Tarasovich Popov), that is, whether drinking too much, that I was tired, but lay down and fell asleep. And in a hostel in a row there were two or three cabinet. We have, together with bed and set it in these boxes, and then went for a walk. It was already far away after midnight. Vicinity of the institute was the theater, near the cinema - a Christmas tree, near a Christmas tree policeman. Frozen, frozen. We walked and walked, then suddenly grabbed the policeman's hands and under the cannibalistic screams began to dance around the tree. We parted with his friends. Returned to the hostel, went to bed, and suddenly the top bass "What you have parasites!" - Woke Kohl. Well - do not fall ...

If interested, I have memories and funny quotes nadergat

[color="# 666686"]Posted 10 hours 3 minutes[/color]
... Sergei Alekseevich (Grigoriev) was a rare, amazing storyteller. He could fascinating talk and talk about things that had even a distant acquaintance. Somehow, do not remember from what he started, but then began to talk about boxing. Nes nonsense terrible, but we, and myself included, listened open-mouthed, so exciting, he said. We especially liked the eloquence of Professor bloomed at a time when we had to be at a lecture on Marxism-Leninism. Laboratory assistant department periodically peeked into our studio, doing terrible eyes, and we did not see it, well, and Sergei Alekseevich, - even more so. To publish any sounds she could not bring herself - after all, and our professor was at that time rector. By the way, he headed the department of Marxism most intelligent and educated man, his name was Urban. He taught us at the 4 th, 5 th course, and before it was a typical party worker, a man without a neck, with a narrow forehead, and on the level of education can be judged by a completely stunning phrase, which he gave us one of the lectures : "You know, of course, that Copernicus, when he was burned at the stake, cried - as did all the earth revolves. Accordingly, I concluded his education and when I did not have enough quotes from Hegel or Feerbaha, I composed it himself. Later, when he tried to do it with an urban, I suffered a severe failure. Ivan V. Selivanov, who burned Copernicus at the stake, according to rumors, ended badly: we have it somehow gone unnoticed, but later said that becoming a director kinoethnikuma, began to sell off and went to jail. While stealing it was dangerous.
Under the guise of Sergei Alekseevich we allowed ourselves (in any case, I allowed myself) quite yet hamovitye actions. So I did a sketch they dubbed it "on the opening day, where at the opening of the exhibition hall in a sort of genius twists before sitting next to him roundnose boss who looked IV Selivanova and, not with a slight hint as to the absolute similarity, and nothing - put the top five. As the fates decree the first chairman of the Supreme Council of Independent Ukraine was surprisingly similar to the absolutely unforgettable Ivan. Well, events took their own way. One of the first educational productions, which gave us Sergei Alekseevich, - was a young, pretty girl in a white dress. Sergei Alekseevich gave us this assignment, and he drove off to Moscow for its directors, or do not know yet how, matters. In the absence of a professor, I thought: well, after all, I could once, furious and tore. But before the Institute was greatly influenced by Murashko, the art is familiar with and which was conquered since the time of my attempts to income in Kharkov Institute. And then, unchained, I gave up on all cylinders as he could and as longing. 2-3 days arrives Grigoriev, runs the studio (and I was in the far corner) comes up to me, more to my work. Looked, walked, walked, walked back and said - Misha, you yourself have found. Hello, I found something with what appeared at the institute and that knocked me out of more than three years. But be that as it was and from that moment on I no longer bothered to write and draw as I saw fit, but five was my duty assessment ...

[color="# 666686"]Posted 10 hours 7 minutes[/color]
... I must mention the man whom I never cease to admire: it was some time taught us the history of art art critic by the name of Shpakov Anatoly. Quite a young man, perhaps a year or two older than me, he also wrote the sketches but it's not so surprising. But art, it happens, engaged in painting (usually bad), but this is not only wrote decently, but most surprising is that he is able to somehow write. It was an invalid who from all four limbs were in working order only one leg. And he wrote this: on the right hand on the wrist strap was under his hand and stuffed it worked. Hands he had not. There was no one leg. So little in fact that he pretty well written, very much understand that, inexplicably, - when we went to the sea, it appeared that he might swim, so much so that I was an athlete, hardly tear myself away from him. He has reconciled me with, in general, molouvazhaemym my tribe art. Complete opposition was already at that time quite an elderly professor, I forgot his name, so he gave us a lecture is that it is possible to put on a pedestal with one unforgettable phrase IV Selivanova having burnt at the stake of Copernicus. So, Kramskoy time explaining to us about his "Unknown" he said, apparently wishing to keep abreast of trends of time, shook us amazing discoveries (Kramskoy happy that did not live) is "Unknown" is not just a beautiful and somehow mysterious woman, and progressive, revolutionary, and apparently carries the bomb. We bravely endured the message, and now only after the lecture bellow like horses ...

[color="# 666686"]Posted 10 hours 10 minutes[/color]
... I remember a funny episode (this is for us, from the amusing, but not for the actors), when there were rumors: Professor Trokhimenko with Chernikov prepare now for the Stalin Prize. And the time was such that if the picture is Stalin and a lot of people, but the picture is large in size, the Stalin Prize was a very real prospect. I do not remember where and how it seems in the main hall we were able to sneak to see this picture - "Stalin is a kind of congress. The impression we have been very sad. Bored and helpless that I saw later-perhaps that the "remarkable" a Soviet artist Ilya Glazunov, the brilliant master of his elbows. Nevertheless, the prize was approaching and was ready to become a reality, but led none other than Stalin himself - took a sudden and died. The landmark work is left unclaimed ...

[voloviks]

Park. Artist wrote sketch. Passing by holidaymakers. Little boy tugging at my father's sleeve:
- Dad, Dad, look how my uncle is suffering without a camera!

[kozhinart]

How is one of the lessons of songs set the theme of Russia through the eyes of aliens 17 veka.Vel this lesson Mikhail. And told this story Oleg Supereko.Zadanie it had to do quickly to 1 chas.Sdelat composite eskiz.Oleg depicted aliens are knee-deep in mud stuck in the mud pushing a carriage, and called it "stuck." All of their designs spread out and began to turn prosmotr.Doshla Olega.Mihail Yurevich stared at the image and then the name, reigned rather long pauza.Posle what he said, "That's kind of erotic name stuck ...

[БОМЖ]

venerable painter wrote nudity.
And now let a break, snack, have a smoke - he said a model.
The Model dressed, sitting in the kitchen.
The doorbell.
wife came.
Artist of models - "so quickly undressed while she did not suspect"

[Marjana]

New ... sky, buy now, asks: "What guarantee is there that the picture is not fake, there?" "Of course, - responsible vendor. - Guarantee for two years. "

[kozhinart]

One lady asked the artist to paint her portrait. When he was
finished, she sent him her husband.
- Bravo, bravo! - Praised the artist's husband. - Just like in life. Here too
it will be to swear!

The lady asks the artist:
- And my picture is really perfect?
- Of course. You yourself do not even know.

Critic:
- Oh, what is it? What a beautiful thing, a vision of what the expression!
Artist:
- Yes? But this is just the place to which I wiped the paint from their
brushes.

The lady turns to the artist:
- Tell me, and you can draw me in the nude?
- There is nothing easier - the artist is happy and quickly begins
undress.

How do you think that the artist painted this picture: sunset or
sunrise?
- I am sure that entrance.
- Why?
- I know this artist: he never wakes up before dinner.

Once Kobzdeya Alexander, a professor of the Warsaw Academy
Arts, was invited to the wedding of one of its a model. For the first time seeing her
dressed, the artist leaned over to his neighbor and whispered in his ear:
- I never thought that she was so charming!

The young artist suddenly kissed a model. Pretending
offended, she said:
- Do you kiss all of its Artist's Model?
- No, you first.
- And how you were there?
- Four: herring, onion, plate, and you ...

Abstract artist friend says:
- I found myself in a difficult position. Customers who ordered a portrait of me, wants
so I changed the color of his eyes.
- Well, treason, what is it?
- Well, I do not remember where in the painted eyes!

The man, who visited the artist's studio, turned to him with
request:
- Can you do me something to offer - cheap and oil?
- Bank of sardines?

Visitor a picture gallery stood a long time before the picture
depicting a tramp in tatters.
- Of all things! - She exclaimed at last with indignation. - Not having money for
decent suit, he allows himself to order portraits.

Sitting in a restaurant man, suddenly to him sits classroom girl.
A guy orders a champagne they drink. After a while man puts
girl's hand on his knee, began to slow up. Girl suddenly
says:
- What you are looking for is located behind my left ear, because I
of models with Salvador Dali.

Ppishel as a young man on vystavky ppodazhy modepnovogo
style long gone, vybipal kaptiny. And ponpavilas emy one, and he peshil
it kypit.
- How many is this kaptina, I would like it kypit. - Sppashivaet it.
- Ho young man is not kaptina this switch.

Two kid's view in the museum of an abstract painting.
- Let's skedaddle out of here, and they'll think that is what we painted it.

In the studio of Picasso came millionaire. 3ainteresovalas picture
written in a cubic manner:
- And what is drawn?
- Two hundred thousand dollars - said the artist

I am ending your portrait - Picasso said the man whom
drew. - And now try to be like him.

Friends noticed that the walls in the house of Picasso, there is no picture
owner.
- You do not like your picture?
- Very like, but to me they can not afford ...

Picasso leads guests on his show.
- This is my self-portrait. And this portrait of my wife.
- I hope you do not have children?

Picasso ordered cabinetmaker furniture set for a country house.
For clarity, he quickly jotted down a sketch and asked:
- How much will it cost?
- Not at all! Just sign the sketch.

The artist asked the gallery owner, who was interested in whether it
canvases.
- Oh, yes! One gentleman wanted to know whether the paintings will rise in the price
after your death. I said sure, and then he bought at once 15
paintings.
- Excellent! Who is this gentleman? - Asked the artist.
- Your doctor, - answered the master.

Polish banker commissioned artist painting of transition
Jews through the Red Sea. The artist took the money and disappeared. He appeared
only after a major scandal. The huge canvas, which he brought c
is, from top to bottom was smeared with red paint.
- What is it? - Outraged banker.
- Red Sea.
- And where the troops of Pharaoh?
- Drowned.
- All right. But what happened to the Jews?
- They have already passed.

In one of the halls of the museum, two young ladies stopped in front of the statue
perfectly folded Greek god, completely naked, for
except leaf to disguise a certain place. One of the attendees
eager to go further, and the other stuck on the ground, never taking his eyes from
statue.
- Are you going to stand here until the New Year? - Tease
girlfriend.
- No, - sighed friend - until the autumn.

Well-known illustrator Tabor, when he made illustrations
to books, pririsovyval in the corner of the dog. When the editor began
resent, to which, say, a dog, he passionately argued
the need for dogs in the picture. In the end common sense prevailed and
dog from the picture cleaned and soothed the editor gave the picture to print.
Well, the artist and asked why, they say, you have this nasty paint, and he
responds: "And if there were no dogs, so he would have to something more
fault.