I. Kabakov
 

"One of the past presidents of the Academy of Arts of the USSR, A. Gerasimov, after the former on the eve of a stormy night festivities sitting, falling asleep in his chair, as he sneaked past the painting, about which he is chairman of the commission, cast replicas: reject, accept, alter, for Award, etc. Suddenly, perhaps remembering something pleasant, it about some of the canvas says: "well, to the State"; hangers-on and entourage in a voice roared: "what color, what a solution! "And one of them, just dismiss:" Such a thing and have a wish, Alexander, hang! "Gerasimov, interrupting:" You, my friend, stunned, at home I have a Van Gogh and Renoir hangs, not this shit! ... "

I. Kabakov
 

"We are talking about school Vasey Sitnikova and Volodya Raikov. The first of these was of a few anecdotal because of Basil hodilo countless scandals and comic stories. His whole life was filled with scenic episodes, which he very cleverly promoted by showing more and more tricks, expanding and rastsvechivaya own legend. For example, being once at the dacha Bulatov, two o'clock, he talked about some his journey, on her lap and a girl combing her hair. The narrator was brilliant, we were literally screaming with laughter. When he finished and it all enthusiastic applause, he said that the meaning of the story was to keep a comb and a girl. Ibid, go to the lake, he undressed and Donoghue, when he was advised to wear swimming trunks, he replied that he was not so sink. From the water began to call one our friend, promising to teach her to swim. And everybody's eyes "taught" her, etc. " to be continued.

Continued.
 

Method of learning from him was as follows. Students, or rather, a student who had never painted (it was one of the conditions set Vasya), collected in his little room, she deserves a detailed description, suffice it to say that overnight Vasya wore a hat that it is not falling bugs. They gathered in front of each already naknoplena paper, they had to pick up a pencil and be as prepared. for what to prepare, it was not clear, since in the room nothing was not an either- still life, or nature, and the maestro had disappeared. Was there silence of expectation, which, according to accounts, lasted a very long time. Suddenly a slammed door, heard an inhuman scream, and Vasya before astonished pupils appeared completely naked, some say, with a whip, but I think that's an exaggeration. He yelled at them, he stamped his feet, so they are now, immediately began to draw. And they drew. Evil tongues say that they started with a penis, but it does not matter. It was important that they awakened a passion for drawing, and then they drew a lot and aggressively. But it is curious that on paper and canvas, occurred in almost all the same: the misty rainbow bubbles abdominous people inflated space, as if glowing ...... . This was a school Sitnikov. "

Anecdote old altered under our realities ...
 

This is not anikdot and parable.
Called (the process does not stop.)

Man gets to heaven after death, then-se. Threshold St. Peter. A man and asks:
- Yes, I understand now, I will determine, in heaven or somewhere there, but I want to ask. Can I ask?
 Why not, say. Ask.
He asks:
  - Here is - the meaning of life. What was the meaning of my life?
 St. Peter hesitated and said:
- You know exactly what you want? Maybe we should not?
 - I want the guy says.
  - Well, Peter says, - you remember 1979?
A man, dumbfounded:
- Well ...
 -Ride your Kislovodsk remember?
Man:
- A little ...
 - Are you in the morning on August 18 in the restaurant went still there at the rest home ... Man, it is already awesome:
- Well?
 Peter:
- there across the table from you was a woman, asked you to pass the salt.
 Man:
- Well?
Peter:
  - Here is what he was.

True story.

Attending the Academy of Fine Arts its president, Alexander Gerasimov, around the train, he stops in front of paintings, assess, praise, etc.
In one room he represents the young man:
- And this, Alexander, a critic of the Members.
- What? Critic NO MORE MEMBERS? That's just not enough!

(He told a former director Rosizopropagandy Nikolai Golovanov).

In each profession, its problems.

On a rainy day down in the subway, where sits the explicit sootechestveniik with an accordion - street, was to be a musician.
Does not play, and talking to someone on a cell. Pass by, I hear a piece of conversation:
"... Double, is not a business day. Dozhdblya, all hands are busy with umbrellas,
niktoblya, money does not give them koshelblya, climb uncomfortable ... "

But also - the creator, labuh, the artist .... :D

The man who I Fota, asked: "Pogryaznee place could not find it?"
:)

So like ships, and did not notice that at the dump sat.

From zhizni.Stoit artist on the street, wrote etyud.Podhodit guy: "Tell me now if you buy this sketch, how much will it cost?" He responds to one hundred evro.Muzhik: "And when you're done?" When I finish, will be two hundred.

I stand a couple of days ago in Bay Cossack writing sea, suitable man and asks: "How much?" I told him that is worth 5 tySh. $. He says: "For such a sea of fine, I'll find you soon!" :D "And these jokes is complete.
Once one sumnichal: "And he has worked with Marat?" :D