Jokes

[Аркадий]

For the Passover and the Day of cosmonautics anecdote:

Arrived new Russian to Jerusalem, and got a tour of the old city. Well, the guide explains: this is where ascended into heaven Christ, and with that, Maria, but there are higher, there is now a mosque and from there ascended the prophet Mohammed.
New Russian says this:
"Well I, you got the spaceport, damn....

[Кирилл Сызранский]

Сообщение от Аркадий

I find the spaceport

"Eastern".

[манна]

Сообщение от Аркадий

- billion.

Family savvy....

In the 90s everywhere straw spread, one in America, one with Yeltsin, one of the Communists...

[Аркадий]

In the 90's? No, much earlier... Sergey Vladimirovich under Stalin, and Khrushchev, Brezhnev, and all subsequent (up to Putin's Soviet-Russian autocrats labored, four hymn copied, under the new power fitting, vimariaa separate phrase. Nikita Sergeyevich boasted that he came from a Royal family of postelnick.. So they were always under the tsars and the straw.

[Кирилл Сызранский]

Сообщение от Аркадий

anthem four times rewrote

No, Mikhalkov was three the wording of the text of the Hymn: the 1943 text ("Stalin"), the text of 1977 and the text of 2001 ("Putin").

[Аркадий]

So no sooner had the old man Mikhalkov fourth time a hymn to rewrite? What a nuisance..

[Кирилл Сызранский]

Сообщение от Аркадий

Means no sooner had the old man Mikhalkov fourth time a hymn to rewrite?

Died Sergei Mikhalkov, the author of anthems of the USSR and Russia.
Went to heaven.
Saint Peter looked with amazement on a crumpled piece of paper, which gave a handsome old man.
"What is it?
- I just jotted down while flying....
Be proud, inhabitant of the heavenly Paradise,
Now you are saved and glorified for centuries.
You are one in heaven, one are you
Protected by God, the country is in the clouds!
Glory to our Saviour and the virgin,
Glory to the white-haired guardian of the keys!
The party of the righteous ascends to the sky
In the clear radiance of the light rays.

"And who are you, exactly? "asked the astonished Peter.
Don't you know?
Oh, sorry , mistook. You are not here, actually, " murmured Peter, groping under the table the reset button.

Pochuvstovat, like a cloud out from under his feet and saw at the bottom of the gaping crimson abyss, the old man sighed, pulled out his Notepad, and began hastily to record:

Through a hole in the ground hell us shines brightly,
And the devil is the great illuminated our path,!
The Minister and the Prime Minister, farmer and milkmaid, -
Here enough for all the pots and pans and forks.
Glory to our underground prison ...

[Пряник]

...normal wedding guests give not the envelope, and the envelope with the money...

[Аркадий]

Comes Cameron to God and asked when my people will live well? In 100 years, God is responsible. Not live, Cameron said, and began to cry.

Comes Obama to God and asks the same question. In 50 years, God answered. Will not survive Obama said and began to cry.

With the same question and comes Putin to God. I will not live God said, and wept.

[Аркадий]

Proletarian awaits the opening of a liquor store.
Throws and catches the hand of the jubilee ruble with Lenin and says: "I Have not the Mausoleum, I will not lie!"