Funny pictures, satire and humor

[Pecheneg]

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[Артём]

Funny pictures.

[Pecheneg]

Came from the movie ....

[Гаврила7]

How to kill the girl.

First, about the real destroyers .

If you are a destroyer , then your main weapon is a word .

Basically, if you have a way with words , things to do. If bad - it should be undone at first do a little business.

Cases in pre- ruined two girls allowed . the following :

1. flowers, bouquets , baskets and so . If you are a true destroyer , the course will trump the background of these flowers once in the history of this evil girl brought a bouquet of daisies ( the flower stall outside the house prepared to throw out ) the words : I'm very narwhal .

It was not " brought" , not "collected " and awkward man is " plucked " .

Where , when, why, narwhal - she probably does not even ponder . She will look at you with wide eyes . You - are a bit loose, already slightly bald , academically educated, fairly secure, smoking a pipe , arrogant and indifferent - suddenly crawling on all fours for her. Tearing .

Sluggish bunch of really propel you .

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If you are at the end of six months from the beginning of this evil regime will bring a girl as a crumpled chocolate candy " Cornflower" , it will be very good. It was a mistake to give her luxury suites and order oysters ! That way you will not destroyer , and a spendthrift, and you can be suspected of generosity. Here you do not love her come and destroy your so remove the ice bucket . Will cost .

That is to say , the required maximum. More than anything else to do ! if you have to do something, it will not be this evil , and the novel ! So hide the credit card , remove your hands from everywhere and sluggish sit in a chair . There we go.

Generally , all you have to do is keep the good breaks, and in the intervals between them speak little sluggish, but pointedly .

For example:

- I'm so unhappy , Olga.

On Olina questions remain silent and sad smile . Then pull her to him and said , "I can not tell you , baby , do not you know." Follow this trick consistently and literally . Do not wear a gag , do not sigh and roll their eyes . If you are ruining Woman remote access, shut up for 15 minutes. If you are in Skype in the chamber tell what fell mood and you go to bed. Turn off the camera , Skype, but after a few minutes turn it on again , silent and no matter what do not answer . It 's crazy .

So . About the " unhappy " say? This is a prelude that sets the tone of tragic stories conceived . Then , a few weeks later , saying :

- We're meant for each other. Naturally, genetically , at depth. I just know it.

And take a good look at her. Do not hug or kiss . On the contrary, if she will rush to the chest - hold gently but firmly . For remote access should be reported , I went to smoke or pour a cup of tea (if you do not smoke ) . Like, are worried .

Let's move on . In pogublyatelnyh relations importantly, do not determine their status. You do not. Neither relationship status nor his . It's complicated . I'm so unhappy , Olga. You must not know it , girl.

Next. Hereby gubiltsam necessary to conduct a lot of talk .

Should be free to talk about the past , telling a little about yourself and asking about it a little .
Talking about the future , using the subjunctive mood : " I have a dream to go to Mauritius . Would you liked it ." "I 'm sure if you were familiar with my mom , you would have found a common language " ( note, this only applies in the case if the mother is in the best of all possible worlds ) .
Further, in your conversations should occur regularly indefinite- personal sentences : "I believe that the family must have at least three children. And all these beautiful as you are." "It would be great to wake up in the morning .... in a house overlooking the sea ."

So , it took some time and Olya in your pocket . She thinks that you love her ( as intended ) that you are doing a lot to her ( chamomile ) that you spoil her ( bring candy as a child , cute, cute !) That you build on it plans (Mauritius ) , and that you are making plans for a future together (the house with a sea view and a common children ) .

Meanwhile, you have not told and did nothing that could be imputed to you after a fault. Here, read carefully: you did not ask her to Mauritius , you do not propose to introduce her to my mother, you do not say what you want from her children , and even look at her, you said the same beautiful as she is! About the house to the sea at all funny - no matter what you say it is , waking up with her sweet and stretching. You do not say what you want to wake up in the house with her. She is held up to the place where the dots .

( Yes , dear citizens of men . If you're doing is basically ruined by udalenke or write a lot of sms, please be basically literate. Pile of misspelled words can cause tenderness only in the later stages . Nedogublennoy girls have it usually causes laughter and frigidity . If you are dyslexic and disgrafikov , avoid scribbling at all, it will ruin the whole effect of this evil ) .

Well, if you are diligent , competent , sophisticated destroyer , then go to the next step.

Stop having sex with her . And even kissing.

If you have questions , and they do not occur soon ... just say, "I do not like to talk about it. This is a difficult topic for me ."

No doubt it will come to dread. And no matter what you have suddenly become impotent. And the fact that she touched the most painful for men topic. Tarpaulin , so to speak , with his boot . At the tender foreskin . History knows of cases where the girl is in a horror for 6-9 years. In absolute celibacy , swallowing everything ride sauce " This is a difficult topic for me ."
I swear. This is the case skillful ruined , not everyone's strength .

If you absolutely have decided to pursue the case , go with her to sleep in the same bed , even naked , ride with her to leave, but do not touch it . All the questions repeat - "I'm so miserable , Olga ," and " This is a difficult topic for me ."

All voila . You can even marry her , if you prefer , but if you stick to the rules of sluggish bunch of flowers , peppermint candy, a complex topic , and to recite "We are meant for each other," - she did not come off for a long time . If something will escalate , say briefly - " Sometimes I so desperately miss you , baby ." Do not forget to forget her birthday .

Dear girls , if you all of this or similar is happening , congratulations - you are destroying . Not every fall is happiness. Not everyone will be able to say after a year or five years , he ruined my years ! He ruined my life!

If you are not very confident in the talents of his destroyer , replace it with a similar , but married - you really ruined the years provided .

[Кирилл Сызранский]

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[Pecheneg]

Childhood childhood .... ...

[zarajara]

Caption:

WORLD OF LIES


obviously wanted to write "World Robes", the last three letters of "clothes"="false"

[Pecheneg]

The identity of the post ...

[Pablo]

Pecheneg, ohosspadi, this is the same ...

[Pecheneg]

Well, the Ukrainian Dupa name is, so why not be different.