How should we talk to artists about painting

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Accidentally came across the site growing. Artist Dennis Kozintsev, and there's an elegant statement > smiled. I hope Mr. Mezentsev will not mind that I'm drunk. Here's a link to the original

1. Artists are narcissistic idiots. This must be taken into account in the dialog.

2. Each artist - very cool.

3. In discussing the pictures in the author does not attempt to poumnichat about technique. Want to seem clever - Praise the picture.

3A. Never use the terms whose values ​​you do not understand (impressionism, abstract, glazing). On the picture presented may not be either one or the other, nor the third.

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4. Never tell an artist what you want to buy from him now, unless you intend to do it.

4A. Especially, do not tell that you are going to buy a painting from another artist, regardless of whether this is true or fiction.

5. Never try to poumnichat, saying "I know this Vasya Pupkin contemporary artist, You've heard about him?" In the eyes of an artist you fall below sea level.

5A. Even worse, than tell me that you know some of the artist is trying to tell you how he uses the technique of the original (cardboard on top of the canvas, collage and watercolors on top of another)

6. Never discuss what you wish the story picture. Stupider than saying "a picture is good, but I do not like the sea (timber, portraits, birds, etc.)" may only be saying, "Bizet's opera is good, but I do not like about pAtomuchto Roma, Roma and I do not like."

6A. Do not admire the fact that the picture depicted the same as your memories or impressions. The fact that you were on the mountain, which is shown on the landscape - just the fact of your biography.

7. Never say that the picture reminds you of Durer (Leonardo, Pirosmani, Glazunov). At least, if you do not want to make enemies in the face of the author.

8. If you are impressed by the works of raves, avoid specifics! If you are not 100%sure that your interpretation coincides with the interpretation of the author.

9. Do not make judgments about art, relying on the media or heard from her friends.

 10. Never offer the artist to assess their amateur product in the hope that it will be a masterpiece, because it - shit.

10A. "I also painted as a child" sounds, at least, stupid.

11. Never say that the picture will come to your couch (closet, interior design, dog, cabinet, table, tank). Sofa - utilitarian, no picture.

12. Ask about the cost of the picture only if you have in your pocket is potentially adequate funding.

14. If you want to praise an artist living in one of the old masters, do it gently and without the use of technical terms. See item 3A.

14A. Never praise for the artists Ilya Glazunov, Boris Vallejo and Nikas Safronov, even if they really like you.

15. If you want to praise the portrait presented to you for criticism, in any case, do not use the phrase "very similar to (a)." Instead, use the words "as live".

15A. Under no circumstances should you try to criticize the proportions of the face in the portrait, or at least tell me what "features beautifully styled."

16. If an artist wants to write your portrait, you do not think he's doing it because you have a unique person. Rather, he wants to make money. Or drag you into bed. Or both.

17. Do not ask me which means "black square" Malevich. Just do not ask.

18. If you are going to buy now, you never try to imagine what it will impress your friends. Friends could not manage to read this manual.