Take, please, Alphonse Allais!

[LCR]

Smallest museum in the world - it certainly Museum Alphonse Allais, it is located in the premises of his father's pharmacy in Honfleur. Now there economy, Jean-Yves Loriot, a retired pharmacist, combining the functions "konservatoa, guide and janitor" of the museum. He eagerly shows visitors the invention Allais - for example, ear plugs for the black widows. Alley absolutely not tolerate any violence "- says Mr. Loriot -" he suffered because the coin hit, it was painful to think that the cream fluff ...». This staunch opponent of the death penalty even figured out how to get rid of flies, polluted the ceiling pharmacies without killing them: it is scattered by the pharmacy balls from the mixture of honey with bismuth, which should in principle cause of the Damned insects constipation!

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The shelves are arranged objects from the collection of Allais: "Voltaire's skull in childhood", "cup for left-handers", "true piece of fake cross of Christ." For postal workers, all day gluing envelopes, he created razhlichnye types of glue - "cathartic", "expectorant", etc. For revelers, he invented the confetti with the addition of sugar - just in case they want sweet. There is a filter and foul language, intended for the purification of style, and muzzles for snails, that they were not allowed to spit on salad, and many other essentials.
So, Alphonse Allais - inventor, each mankind? Yes, but not only. One of the founders of the "absurd art" (1882-1893), he is also the world's first abstract artist - much earlier than Malevich - worked in "monohromicheskom" style, unfortunately, is still undervalued and insufficiently known. Here are 5 of the seven established their masterpieces:

1. Apoplekticheskie cardinals harvesting tomatoes at the Red laity (1882, maybe earlier)
2. Wonder seamen recruits, sodomites, for the first time have seen the Mediterranean Sea (1887 or so)
3. The young ladies walking in snowy weather on the first communion (established in February)
4. Battle of Africans in тунеле (attributed to Ala)
5. Asians suffering from jaundice, drink anisette, sitting in a wheat field

More than half a century before John Cage, he composed a "funeral march on the death of a deaf great man" - a blank page of music paper.

They say that last week one visitor had died in terrible agony as a result of the monstrous explosion of laughter.

The fact of the biography:

Allais eagerly imitated article Francisca Sarsen, theater critic in biscuits "Le Temps, and signed his compositions in his name. Sarsen on it does not take offense, he was even flattered. But once some other writer did the same. Anger Allais was terrible! "Only two people in Paris have the right to sign the name Sarsen" - he wrote - "first of all, it's me, well then - he Sarsen!".

A few quotations:

"I drink to forget that I am an alcoholic"

"People who never laugh - it is not serious people!"

"A great discovery army - she realized that the competence of the person does not read. So she invented the title "

"Unbelievable, how money helps transfer poverty"

Money should be taken where they are - poor. Right, the poor have little money, but the poor-how much! "