Sabre Dance

[SergeiSK]

all probably know this story. Here it is completely :

The history of Soviet music was created on the fifth floor of the hotel "Europe", in the cupboard. It was the most musical buffet in the world. Philharmonic Hall is directly opposite, across the street, and musicians faithfully ran into this coffee shop before rehearsal after rehearsal, and sometimes instead of rehearsing. For greater fluency fingers and courage. And also after the concert before the concert, and just out of habit. And also, and visiting - it was almost like a ritual. Any barmaid with a "roof" knew about the musical life of the city more than Lenfilarmonii director or the secretary of the Composers' Union. Musicians are known, respected and forgave them many artistic antics - the creative nature ... the glory of the city! There is not asked, what must visitors - they were considered on their heads and poured a hundred and brandy, if, before work, and if, after - the one hundred and fifty. A hundred grams of cognac cost in those days, the ruble.
And since Leningrad was a city of more than filarmonotsentricheskim than teatrotsentricheskim, unlike Moscow, which has long been noted, and that the Philharmonic was going to light and place high society, then all the discussion there stories automatically become the property of Nevsky and included in the list of those recommended to the conversation between people educated and are not strangers to the arts.
A Hero of Socialist Labour and Laureate to feature all sorts of awards, Aram Khachaturian, a personal friend of big Mravinsky, Christmas and others, was there on the street corner of Nevsky Brodsky, the bar from the elevator to the right, and musical guests to Leningrad completely native. He was a famous, guest welcome, large shower, Caucasian gregarious generosity - from its board in Moscow and Leningrad to his native Armenia, not to mention the faction, and Spain, of which just does not get out ...

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Here in Spain once on tour, held with great success - the Spanish people in general music and music temperamental, fire, know how to appreciate in particular - its organizers and ask: what would he like to see or get More in Spain, they would be happy to do great and wonderful composer pleasant to serve, to bestow, to arrange, lay at his feet, not to hit the dirt face, and other colorful expressions of Latin.
Khachaturian, in turn, was in the home is a modest person, worthy of carrying the greatness and glory. Took it on the highest level, and wish he could just pigeon milk. But he did not drink milk, his favorite drink was, by contrast, cognac "Ararat." So he threw up his hands, thanked the hosts, he thought, and in order of response courtesy of compliments to his incomparable genius said that Spain, in which he has the honor to speak, is the birthplace of the artist velichayschego twentieth century, Salvador Dali, the leader and the glory of world art and his idol . And no such desires from him, admiring the fabulous Spanish hospitality, I can not and can not, that's unless he would be happy to meet and get acquainted with the maestro Salvador Dali, in order to personally witness him my deepest respect and even ask for an autograph on an album of reproductions.
In this statement, the organizers changed slightly in the face, shifting from foot to foot ... Because Dali was famous for its unpredictable eccentricity, and please, this is not a fact that is feasible ... More likely it impossible for the simple reason that Dali lived in America. In Spain, he occasionally runs into.

But everything was arranged with fabulous speed and frightening ease. Overseas Dali graciously listened to on the phone and wish the meeting said that he a fan of the great composer and pochtet for happiness to him in his modest home in Spanish any time, any talks. For the sake of happiness, he dropped everything, which he, in fact, no, who needs it, poor old artist, and now goes to the airport and sits on the plane. Say, tomorrow? Let's say two hours of the day? If this suit Congeniality composer Khachaturian, then it is a modest malevalytsik Daly, an obscure loser will be the rest of his days happy, very happy that his miserable person may represent any interest for such a giant of world music and lights.
And shaken to the loss of pulse impresario transmits an invitation Khachaturian, with Spanish tact implying that the glory of Khachaturian's already surpassed did everything imaginable and unimaginable limits, if the master himself Dali! who can tell him to go away any president - just as, in the mood for a scandalous self-promotion! - So appreciated Khachaturian.

And the next day without three minutes two limousines brings government class Khachaturian, an impresario, secretary and interpreter to the gates of the white-stone Moorish castle Dali, with towers, steeples, and battlements flags. The porter and a security guard in dazzling livery plowing the gate and told that the owner is waiting, and his wish - to hold a meeting at the intimate, family-run, we can say the level, so a translator is not needed, after all, Monsignor Daly's wife is also Russian, and the machine is also not necessary because Monsignor Daly ordered to take guests after the meeting back to his car. Which one of you here sir Khachaturian? Take the honor, sir pass, no, no, the other not take orders.
Others shrug their shoulders and not surprised, because everything is quite in keeping with Dalí. They shake hands Khachaturian, want to have a good time to say hello to his great fellow countryman, and leave.
A Khachaturian was escorted by a marble avenue to the castle. On the porch he weighed the bow is just some of the ceremonies of the royal court, and Khachaturian began to doubt: whether he was wearing, perhaps, would be better to come in a tuxedo ... but it is not warned about this, and during the day, an informal meeting of ... and he himself, after all, a great man! then there ...
Master of Ceremonies invites him to a luxurious reception hall - white molding, inlaid parquet floors and mirrors - offers to sit down and broadcasts in Spanish, that Monsignor Daly now come here from that door. At this very moment, the old clock on the wall, hit two shots, master of ceremonies bowed and disappeared, closing the door.

And Khachaturian remained in the room alone.
He sits on some luxury zlatotkanom couch, no other suites of Louis XV, in front of it a mosaic table, and on this table, delicately placed the Armenian brandy, Spanish wine, fruits, and cigars. And in another corner of the hall a large golden cage, and there walked and dissolve the iridescent peacock's tail.
Minutes pass, and others. Knowing that punctuality is not accepted in Spain at any level, Khachaturian eagerly looks around from side to side, smooth hair and straightens his tie. Obviously, Dali's wife Gala, too, will not just need an interpreter. He prepares the introductory phrases and hones fine compliments.
At ten minutes past two, he believed that, in general, with seconds on the second Dali already go down, and listens to the footsteps.
In the third quarter of sits back and choose a cigar from the box. Produces smoke and throws his legs.
At twenty minutes past two it becomes a bit annoying - some leshego, really ... he himself had appointed two hours! - Pours herself a glass of brandy and drink.
At half past two, he pours another glass of cognac, and drinks her glass of wine. Nibbling grapes! ..
There is still a violation of etiquette. Rudeness, sir! What is he, boy? He stands up, unzips his jacket and pulls his tie, puts his hands in his pockets, and began pacing the room. Since the peacock exchanged glances. Bad bird screaming like ass!

And watch regularly call-back quarters, and three-fourths of the third Khachaturian this meeting finally ceases to please. He touches the door handle of which must come Dali - perhaps master of ceremonies halls confused? - But the door was locked. And Khachaturian decide: wait up to three - and goes to hell. What is this mess ... this is humiliating!
At three he nervously spitting on a cigar butt slaps a shot at one for the road "Akhtamar and firm steps towards the door.
But it turns out that door, to which he belonged, too, does not want to open. Khachaturian is surprised, turns the knob, shrugs. He tries to turn all the doors in the palace alone - and they all shut up!
He was in confusion and anger pulls, pushes, - shut down! Then he was to improve the mental activity upsets another brandy, cursing out loud, spitting on the peacock's tail, tear off his tie and stuffed in his pocket ...
He is looking for call or the phone - call the valet or anyone there. No sign of alarm.
Maybe with Dali something wrong? Maybe he had not come? But - was invited, sure ... Madness!
And eat already, among other things, hunting! He is a man utrobisty, these pleasures are about to devour loves, and the lunch: and he especially did not eat beforehand, to leave room for lunch with the Dali - around the dinner has to be, no?

Sit back to the table, picks ripe pear, orange buries shirt, leans on the brandy, and zvereet - set to aggressive mode!
And at half past three starts to feel a certain need. Wine, you know, brandy, fruit ... The toilet must go Aram. And the doors are locked!
No etiquette and good manners is irrelevant, he knocks at every door, at first shyly, and then - just rattle your feet: no answer. Then tries to open the window - or yell, or too ... that ... But, gothic castle windows have solid frames, and can not be opened.
Khachaturian begins to run on their short legs down the hall and mothers with increasing pressure. And at four o'clock every patient it dries out, and he decides for himself - here at four, and there come what may! da hell with them all!
And on the catwalk between the windows is kind of a collector's vase, Moorish antiquity. Beautiful form and fair, however, is capacity. And this vase increasingly takes hold of his thoughts.
And four, he finely bobbing and puffing, with vengeful relief posted in this vase and thinks that life is not so bad: the castle, wine, peacock ... and the height of the vase comfortable.

And the clock strikes four times and the last stroke cut one of the hidden speakers with a deafening sound of "Sabre Dance"! The door swings open with a thunder - and flies mounted on the mop Dali completely naked, waving his sword over his head!
He prance naked in the mop across the room, waving his sword, to the opposite door - they admit it and slam!
And the music stops.
Includes master of ceremonies and announced that the audience was given.
And invites to the exit.
Spacy Khachaturian frantically brush up, coping with spattered trousers. On the porch he politely handed a luxury, the Dutch press, with a gilt-edged, the album with a touching inscription Daly host for this memorable meeting.
Put into a car and taken to the hotel.
On the road Khachaturian came around and wanted to throw the hell this crappy album, but he thought and did not throw.

And there waiting for him, and vied with one another questioned as a meeting of two giants. And he charged them, something that weaves a conversation about art and trying to be terse and do not zavratsya.
The same day, full details of events appears in the evening papers, and Dali in forgivable tones speaks about ordinary visitor from the wilderness of Russia to use as pots collectible vases, worth a hundred thousand dollars and the age of six hundred years.
One way or another, but most of Khachaturian in Spain did not go.
Michael Weller. Legends of Nevsky Prospekt.