Тема: Jokes
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Старый 15.07.2012, 10:25 Язык оригинала: Русский       #1
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По умолчанию Jokes

To have fun, probably not enough of this topic

Witch - burn!
- But she's so beautiful ...
- Well ... but then burn!

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- Why Germany has given the world so many philosophers?

- And you saw the German women?

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Kremlin - is the most impregnable fortress of the crime fortresses in the world.

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An inspection at the Odessa market:

- Do you have documents on this fish?

- A sho do you want? The death certificate?

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Читать дальше... 
never too late to repent, and sin can and late

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Muscovites - like teeth. Every year fewer and fewer native ...

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According to folk will take in the new house first need to let the Internet -

cable. And where he goes - they put a PC. And the table. And the bed. And a refrigerator.

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Russian tourists threatened to quell the unrest in Egypt, if they will interfere

relax.

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In my heart I am very kind and sensitive person ... But how to get out of the shower - this

you bastard!

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Catholics believe the germ of a complete human being from the moment of conception.
Jews believe that the embryo remains so until then, until it receives a medical or law degree.

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Families without soup - it is cohabitation.

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The Klitschko brothers are the reason that black now massively drop box and go to the basketball, rap and the presidency.
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- British scientists have determined that chocolate elevates mood ...
- They probably have not tried the vodka.
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The birth rate in Russia is falling as more and more people realize that it is better to be born elsewhere.
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Appetite comes with eating. Appetite - during the diet.
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The less the girls we love, the more time for sleep.

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What's on your chest prigreesh, then life will sizzle.

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It is difficult to always be a man - the people in the way.

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He was only sixteen. And he was ahead - atherosclerosis,

hypertension, low back pain ...

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When the power is in your hands, take hold of the mind is nothing.
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Medvedev suggested the oligarchs tell students how they were

billionaires. Oligarchs proposed Medvedev to tell how he became

president.
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The boy asks his father:
- Dad, what is home?
- Homeland - this is the place, my son, from a youth wants to leave, and wants to return in old age ..
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In the grocery store.
- Do you have the cheese Roquefort <<?
- A cho is it?
- Cheese with mold.
- No Cheese. But there is a sausage <Roquefort> belyashi <Roquefort>, herring <Roquefort>.
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Adding the width of the neck guard with high ceilings in the office and multiplying by the length of the legs of the secretary, he realized that the firm - serious.

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- Sarah, sho you write "Two peasants overstrained by a mine?"
Not "overstrained," and "exploded"!
- No, I did overstrained! Not on mine, but on mine!
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Do you have skis and ski boots a size 52?
- What?
- 52 th.
- And the hell you are skiing?
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- The victim, if you know the person who stole your car?
- Your Honor, after a speech to his lawyer Posted in General, I am not sure whether I have a car.
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He wanted to sing and dance, BUT ON THE SHOULDER PREVENTS which stifled the coffin with her mother.
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In the office of the director was a sofa for the roles ...
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Lord! If you made it so that I can not - we do so that I do not
wanted!
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Chutzpah did not know the limit, derivative and other elementary functions.
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Did you know that the pilots <F15> have approximately the same
overload, as a blonde while reading?
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The Seven Deadly Sins: sociability, activity, desire to work in a team, commitment, bystroobuchaemost, diligence, stress.
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If you seduce a man then, as an honest woman, you are obliged to marry him! And there is nothing to feel sorry for him!
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Are you offended? - No, I have an ax to ...
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Life should be so that the depression was the other!
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- Sappers walk slowly, but it's better not to overtake them!
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Councils do not ask! Because I have a stronger sense of humor

pity.

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- Who are you?
- I? Fairy Godmother!
- And why a baseball bat ...?
- You see how little you know about good fairies!
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- Mom! I'm going home. To buy something?
- Yes. Buy an apartment and live alone!
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German children do not watch porn because they are afraid to see their parents.
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The horizon of some people is a circle with zero radius. They call it a point of view.
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Ukrainian vegetarians have shown that the fat - this plant.
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Looking at last week's film "Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath"

Half of Russians instinctively noted the New Year.

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Nothing is so contagious as laughter chief.

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- Help!
- A?
- If you do not pull me right now, I drown!
- No, well, you see, it still puts conditions!

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- Dad! And why did you marry my mother?
The husband turns to his wife and says:
- You see, even a child wonders!



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