Тема: Jokes
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Старый 20.11.2012, 15:54 Язык оригинала: Русский       #27
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Pearl symphonic orchestra
Цитата:
• only three rehearsals before pozora!
• Fagoty back in pot did not take, and tpombony uzhe konchili!
• I say pipes! And they look, obnimayutsya, tseluyutsya.
• In Shostakovich's many notes, and they change all the time.
• What is not the same as the text of the overture - look it up yourself with your fingers.
• Note a point means that you have something to do with it.
• I will tell you now, what music here - you will be surprised.
• There's the devil knows what is written in the score! Copyist - strashnoe chelovek shit.
• This is not a symphony orchestra here in the crowd you can not hide, you have to play clean!
• The game is not what I want, and what is written in the score.
• Gypsy fun marred unenforceable passage trombones.
• You should play like you're a little drunk and not in a hurry.
• Pretend that you are a musician, not just assholes with glands.
• In decent bands at the conductor not stare!
• "At Eight" - the same rate, only 2 times faster!
• Play the air, like a flute in the bushes.
• Alta, where are you getting? And right would crept something decent, and that F-sharp!
• Guys, it's a "cuckoo sounds," and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
Читать дальше... 
• All parties as a party, and the first soprano - invalidy!
• If someone has played out of tune, the main thing - time to look reproachfully at his neighbor.
• Do not choke in your own talent!
• Do not give me here all these snot bows breed! Wipe the neck and played dry!
• See one eye to the party, and two for me!
• Number the bars, and the eyes may move, and the numbers are not!
• House to come and do so, that the whole family you know how to play it ...
• Why are you always so hard trying to play as soon as I start to conduct?
• Women's choir! Sing along with their brains.
• This is a product you were soaked in a teacher.
• viola! Give into effect the moment your talent.
• It should be very hard to take that note, even if false!
• Clean your manicure with neck!
• Left hand stronger stirring to all thought that you are alive.
• You have dilated pupils! Reduce your eyes, play the small pupil, the state of the music depends on the condition of your pupil!
• Tell me, please, that you are playing as the conservatives? I'm going there tomorrow, choke rector and will require that you have taken away the diploma!
• Devonki, you palchiki on hand such as that of Schwarzenegger on foot!
• People who play false, should be put in jail along with counterfeiters.
• You should have your head in the drums beat louder than we would have!
• Stop staring at cleavage flutist, there is no music, your party is on the desk!
• Blowers, you at least sit up and trombones, but they, unlike you - guys!
• That I will turn now to your ass, and you guess what I meant to say!
• This is necessary so to hate each other, to play like that!
• Why do you as a child did not explain what the pipe is different from the Pioneer furnace?
• Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for this game it would be resurrected and filled your face!
• And what fool told you that your place on the stage, not on a construction site?
• Bassoon, sorry, this is what place you are to make sounds?
• For a solo, I would kiss you, sorry far sit. Waiting for you at 10 am tomorrow in my office.
• Drummers somehow always try to consider themselves the most important in the orchestra! Remember, the chief of the orchestra - the director, the second - I and you - in the first hundred!
• I have the impression that the pipes - obstruction. Refer to the gynecologist!
• If you have played the first time as a number, I'll kill you all one by one, bury Otsizhu, and then enter the new band!
• You, my dear, is the face, as if, except cello, you have nothing between your legs never held!
• You are not afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you to the conservatory go intellectuals. And that proletarians rise up from their seats and stuffed all of you face for this game!
• Do not be so torturing harp and confuse it with a drunken husband.
• Play a pianissimo, as if I were dead!
• I know that you all hate me. Now think about how you should relate to me?
• I do not belong to you in the same music!
• The second trombone, I want to wish that on your funeral so played!
• What sort of New Orleans you are divorced? You do that in the family were negros?
• If you think you have a symphony orchestra is different from the tavern only because it has more labuhov, you are very wrong!
• From myself try to blow! I get the impression that you are a music school did not explain the direction of the air flow in the mouthpiece!
• I ask you to pass on to these eight measures, not even breathe!
• Was used to me, I took the wand so that you have resumed air permeability in the body!
• I will ask the scribes to the party for a bigger idiot wrote!
• I promise you employment in the underground passage, and personally contract with the cops and gangsters, that you did not touch. But I can not vouch for pedestrians.
• Would you rather saxophone - chainsaw "Friendship" in his hands. Sound the same, and more money!
• You have a very beautiful, strong hands. Put tools and strangle themselves with them, do not sneer at the music!
• You want to come home and give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with spasmodic person?
• You are so familiar it all play as if personally with Prokofiev drank!
• Tell me, do not you feel ashamed? Better if you messed up the air than it is a lovely place in the adagio!
• I stop any ceremony, and from now on you will begin to learn to love, if not me, then at least to the music!
• After each concert, you have to go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And do not forget the temple sacrifice.
With expanses Learn
__________________
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Эти 8 пользователя(ей) сказали Спасибо Grigory за это полезное сообщение:
Allena (19.06.2013), Eriksson (20.11.2012), NATA NOVA (20.11.2012), usynin2 (18.06.2013), Valerit (20.11.2012), zarajara (20.11.2012), Дилетант (21.11.2012), Тихая Сапа (20.11.2012)