Here are a few of Oleg stories: o
The inexorable laws of biology
Once drunk girl with a cheerful company, crossing the southern cemetery at night, when the light torch read dull gold lettering the monument:
"Katerina Ivanovna Zuikov
DIED 83 years in childbirth "
"Wow!" - Thought the girl, and returned the day, barely having found the stone read:
"Katerina Ivanovna Zuikov
DIED 83 years of age.
Became boring. The sea was darkened, turned into a big warm puddle. In the air floated the dust. Over the fence bleated goat. It was time for dinner. In the dining room it took place.
Miracle
Santa Avdey, shell-shocked at once on the Russian-Japanese, the first world, the civil, the CER, in finnish and in the Great Patriotic War, went to the store "Diet" and bought three apples. Ate first and turned into an ass with ears, tail and hooves. "A miracle!" - Delighted grandfather Avdey that now do not have to buy coats and shoes. With this thought he had eaten the apple and the second turned into a flowing water tap in their communal kitchen. And eat the third apple was already absolutely nothing.
Neighbors called a locksmith Basil, put him a bottle. Basil unscrewed flowing off and threw it, and instead put a new shiny.
Here's how unlucky poor grandfather Avdeyu.
Surprise
Nadia with great difficulty cornered home two shopping bags. The first was cabbage, potatoes, beets, onions, carrots, garlic, tomatoes, sugar bone, fat, pepper, salt, herbs, and the second - a pile of paper. Products - cook soup to feed a loved one, only, dear, dear, heart, human, simple, modest, intelligent, handsome and strong man, husband. A paper that he, Having eaten his fill, he could write his thesis.
Carefully put Nadenka bag on the table. Silence. Only the bedroom some creaking but sighs. Nadia threw open the door and opened his eyes wide with horror to the limit, and this remained his entire life.
man in pince
A little known (the time has come, finally, to tell about it), that during the last years of his life, Yakov Sverdlov absolutely not go to the toilet "in the large". Never. Ed. Peel. But the act of defecation did not commit. This is his quality he brought to the perfect surprise and friends, and enemies. However, my friends loved him, while his enemies feared and hated, but both are amazed at inexplicable processes occurring in the body of a revolutionary. And of course, this phenomenon has allowed certain unfriendly individuals from claiming that Yakov is not a man, and "solid shit.
UNTITLED
Lizard sits on the warm stones, the body warms. And behind her stealing animals feeding on them exclusively (lizards), I do not know what it's called, that is, in Latin, I know, but in Russian there is no ... Animals - DAC lizard tail. That - again, the tail left in the clutches of the enemy, and under the stone itself - a new sprout. Grew - and again on the stone, and sat, warmed, and the animal is awake, he wanted to eat again - d /a lizard tail. Lizard's tail left - and under a stone, a new sprout. Grew not without some difficulty, and again on the stone, and the animal again - DAC! ..
«Merde!» - Thought with chagrin lizard - it will not let me live in peace! .. "- And ceased to grow a tail. Animal, the lizard lacking completely died out, because it failed to regroup, adjust to a new way of hunting, the lizard also began to develop, and gradually became more complex man.