[tivat]

In the Odessa school in Soviet times:
- Children! God no! Let's all show the window care! Abrash, why do not you show a fig?
- If it is not present, to whom it show? And if there is - why spoil a relationship with him?

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When Moses broke the tablets from a single gem, everyone rushed to pick up the pieces. Collected and became the basis for the future welfare of their families. The rich have got hefty pieces that say "steal", "willed", "commit adultery." And the poor - small ones in which "no", "no", "no."

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- Rabbi, if I leave all my money synagogue and die, I will go to heaven?
- You know, Izzy, guarantees I can not give, but to try, in my opinion, worth it!

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- Rabbi, why do boys circumcised?
- Well, first of all, it's beautiful ...

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 Jewish rabbi asked why they should always walk with their heads covered.
- Because in the nineteenth chapter of the book "Exodus" in the fourteenth verse says, "And Moses went down to the people ..."
- They're not talking about a hat!
- Do you might have thought that Moses went out to the people without Bale?

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Old Jew comes to the rabbi:
- Rebbe! What a mess! What do I do? ... I go I am today to her son, and in his bed Christian girl on the table - pork!
-It's not so bad. Now, if she was on the table, and pork in the bed ...

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 - Dinochka Isaakovna, I congratulate you on his birthday and wish you all-just beautiful!
- Thank you, darling! After all, I will not be congratulated, no bastard, except you!