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-   -   Jokes (https://forum.artinvestment.ru/showthread.php?t=164602)

Valerit 15.07.2012 10:25

Jokes
 
To have fun, probably not enough of this topic

Witch - burn!
- But she's so beautiful ...
- Well ... but then burn!

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- Why Germany has given the world so many philosophers?

- And you saw the German women?

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Kremlin - is the most impregnable fortress of the crime fortresses in the world.

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An inspection at the Odessa market:

- Do you have documents on this fish?

- A sho do you want? The death certificate?

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Читать дальше... 
never too late to repent, and sin can and late

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Muscovites - like teeth. Every year fewer and fewer native ...

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According to folk will take in the new house first need to let the Internet -

cable. And where he goes - they put a PC. And the table. And the bed. And a refrigerator.

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Russian tourists threatened to quell the unrest in Egypt, if they will interfere

relax.

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In my heart I am very kind and sensitive person ... But how to get out of the shower - this

you bastard!

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Catholics believe the germ of a complete human being from the moment of conception.
Jews believe that the embryo remains so until then, until it receives a medical or law degree.

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Families without soup - it is cohabitation.

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The Klitschko brothers are the reason that black now massively drop box and go to the basketball, rap and the presidency.
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- British scientists have determined that chocolate elevates mood ...
- They probably have not tried the vodka.
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The birth rate in Russia is falling as more and more people realize that it is better to be born elsewhere.
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Appetite comes with eating. Appetite - during the diet.
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The less the girls we love, the more time for sleep.

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What's on your chest prigreesh, then life will sizzle.

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It is difficult to always be a man - the people in the way.

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He was only sixteen. And he was ahead - atherosclerosis,

hypertension, low back pain ...

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When the power is in your hands, take hold of the mind is nothing.
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Medvedev suggested the oligarchs tell students how they were

billionaires. Oligarchs proposed Medvedev to tell how he became

president.
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The boy asks his father:
- Dad, what is home?
- Homeland - this is the place, my son, from a youth wants to leave, and wants to return in old age ..
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In the grocery store.
- Do you have the cheese Roquefort <<?
- A cho is it?
- Cheese with mold.
- No Cheese. But there is a sausage <Roquefort> belyashi <Roquefort>, herring <Roquefort>.
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Adding the width of the neck guard with high ceilings in the office and multiplying by the length of the legs of the secretary, he realized that the firm - serious.

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- Sarah, sho you write "Two peasants overstrained by a mine?"
Not "overstrained," and "exploded"!
- No, I did overstrained! Not on mine, but on mine!
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Do you have skis and ski boots a size 52?
- What?
- 52 th.
- And the hell you are skiing?
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- The victim, if you know the person who stole your car?
- Your Honor, after a speech to his lawyer Posted in General, I am not sure whether I have a car.
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He wanted to sing and dance, BUT ON THE SHOULDER PREVENTS which stifled the coffin with her mother.
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In the office of the director was a sofa for the roles ...
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Lord! If you made it so that I can not - we do so that I do not
wanted!
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Chutzpah did not know the limit, derivative and other elementary functions.
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Did you know that the pilots <F15> have approximately the same
overload, as a blonde while reading?
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The Seven Deadly Sins: sociability, activity, desire to work in a team, commitment, bystroobuchaemost, diligence, stress.
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If you seduce a man then, as an honest woman, you are obliged to marry him! And there is nothing to feel sorry for him!
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Are you offended? - No, I have an ax to ...
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Life should be so that the depression was the other!
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- Sappers walk slowly, but it's better not to overtake them!
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Councils do not ask! Because I have a stronger sense of humor

pity.

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- Who are you?
- I? Fairy Godmother!
- And why a baseball bat ...?
- You see how little you know about good fairies!
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- Mom! I'm going home. To buy something?
- Yes. Buy an apartment and live alone!
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German children do not watch porn because they are afraid to see their parents.
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The horizon of some people is a circle with zero radius. They call it a point of view.
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Ukrainian vegetarians have shown that the fat - this plant.
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Looking at last week's film "Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath"

Half of Russians instinctively noted the New Year.

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Nothing is so contagious as laughter chief.

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- Help!
- A?
- If you do not pull me right now, I drown!
- No, well, you see, it still puts conditions!

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- Dad! And why did you marry my mother?
The husband turns to his wife and says:
- You see, even a child wonders!

Akarui 26.07.2012 12:54

Thanks, now I just live longer, laugh-a)))

NATA NOVA 26.07.2012 14:23

Not all of that and-net-correct, but everyone-its (internal) filter, and it is different for each resolution ..
(Over my many "jokes" are not leaked to) ...

Valerit 26.07.2012 17:00

Вложений: 1
I wanted to read the latest, Russian, funny.
What kind of jokes in Estonia?
No.
In any case, they do not understand Russian citizen.
Put those that sent me from America.

Example of Estonian joke: "Each wants to be a banger sausage" They all laugh.
Perhaps in Estonian it sounds ridiculous.

NATA NOVA 26.07.2012 18:04

Цитата:

Сообщение от Valerit (Сообщение 2180741)
What jokes in Estonia?

I remembered (purely Estonian, from the Soviet time):

"Today, adidas nosis, and tomorrow prodas home!"

тандем 27.07.2012 14:18

The grandson asked Yanukovych

- Father, who are disadvantaged?

Yanukovych

- These are the ones who are with us are not in proportion.

Konstantin 27.07.2012 14:41

Цитата:

Сообщение от Valerit; 2180741"
I read the past , Russian , funny

Here's anecdote from the life . 2 weeks ago and his family in Crete ( in the " pets " have a couple of pictures ) We went on a trip to the cave of Zeus, the double-decker bus full of tourists . Most families with children.
But .
There was a couple of men, one with no distinguishing marks , but the second beautiful in all white , kalsonchiki pants , sleeveless shirt , shoulder-length hair and a beautiful cap. They sat together, walked together, just the handle is not kept .
Now the anecdote:

In one of this beauty shops trying on a cowboy hat , and so turn and commercials .
One woman said admiringly : - " What a handsome man! "
She whispers in response to children for the whole store : - "Mom what are you ? It's fag "

I thought I was going to die , everyone who was in the shop is literally on all fours with suppressed laughter crawled .

sur 28.07.2012 09:00

Вложений: 8
Sometimes fotkal (though on the phone), all sorts of things that I think are funny.
That's what comes to hand and a few jokes from the neta.
It turned out all right in a random order, but corrected, sorry, no time.

NATA NOVA 28.07.2012 11:36

"This lady is a woman who calls a cat a cat, in spite of a broken heel, nail, teeth and nose (when she tripped and fell because of it)" (c)

Pecheneg 29.07.2012 02:15

Цитата:

Сообщение от NATA NOVA (Сообщение 2180801)
I remembered (purely Estonian, from the Soviet time):

"Today, adidas nosis, and tomorrow prodas home!"

In the 90s we went on saying, "Who is a firm" Adidas ", the real

n ***** with "
 
and so were many of all sports, any logo, except for "Adidas" ..


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